Rough days around here. I think I have written before that Owen was waking up early. He slept through last night. I didn’t though, just waiting for him to wake up. Don’t you hate when that happens? He is going through some thing right now that is driving me nuts. He won’t put his hands flat, they are permanently clenched. Holding a cup, eating a bagel…everything. I know when I am tense, I often find my hands clenched. Could that be the cause? I don’t know. There is so much I don’t know and it just destroys me sometimes. We have also seen an increase in self-injurious behaviors again. Is it the time change–still? Or environmental allergies? I feel so helpless. He seems so unrelated these days. So lost. I wonder where he is. Will he come back anytime soon?
April is Autism Awareness month. There has been a lot of programs on television about autism, on the news. I wish I knew more. Will I ever know enough? Perhaps it is time to dig up his old Mission Falls sweater and knit a prayer into it for his well-being, for his happiness. For him to find his way back to me again.