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A mother’s pride November 18, 2004

Filed under: Uncategorized — katy @ 9:06 am

I had Gracie and Cameron’s educational IEP meetings yesterday morning.  This was the first meeting for Cameron that we didn’t need a parent member or a tape recorder!  The principal said they are "cautiously optimistic".  Owen’s home teacher said the principal just couldn’t admit they were wrong.  Cameron, with his supports–speech, reading and resource room–is holding his own.  Go Cam!  His teacher is fabulous.  She is bubbly and positive and supportive.  She freely admits she adores Cam…I love that. 

Gracie.  Well, Gracie has been declassified from special education.  I was holding out for a 504 plan to keep test modifications, such as extended time and a quiet place but they said she doesn’t need them and doesn’t use them when offered.  I don’t think it quite hit me at first.  I have had 3 kids on an IEP of sorts for a while.  This morning, I was overwhelmed with pride.

We are coming up on our anniversary on Saturday.  Gracie was a bit of a surprise…she is an unbelievable child.  I thought raising children would be so easy.  My mom calls it the ignorance of youth.  I certainly didn’t expect 3 children with such intense educational needs.  For a long time, perhaps even to this day, I blamed myself for somehow failing them.  Kevin and I are both college educated, intelligent people.  Heck, we scored in the same range on the SATs (I was just a little bit higher).  My kids work so hard for what comes pretty easily for others and came easily for Kevin and I.  Some people say that Kevin and I were given this because we could handle it.  I am not sure I believe that.  It certainly has tested our marriage. 

So, this weekend is our anniversary and Kevin’s birthday.  The same day.  He’s kinda cute wanting to get married on his birthday.  Perhaps because he is a twin he figured what was one more person to share the day with?  He will be with his brother rather than me.  It is his neice’s christening.  Kevin is going down to MD with Gracie and Cameron.  Owen and I have a mommy/son weekend planned.  This weekend includes a visit to see Granny on Saturday.  She hasn’t met Owen yet.

I will miss Kevin and the other two this weekend.  But I will surely enjoy–or at least try to enjoy–my weekend with the O-man.  I have no regrets asking Kevin to marry me that chilly night on Boylston Street.  Sure, it was more than I bargained for…but it goes both ways! 

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19 Responses to “A mother’s pride”

  1. jackie Says:

    What great news from your conferences! You must be floating – and I’ll bet the kids are proud of themselves, too.
    Have a great weekend. Happy Anniversary!!

  2. Karen Says:

    Oh, congratulations on your anniversary! I have had some of the same thoughts, although not the same challenges you have had, that raising children is HARD and why didn’t someone tell me, and it’s impossible to plan everything that might happen (in our case, twins and an unexpected third 21 months later). Wonderful news about your daughter and son….you sound like a very proud mom!!

  3. Susan Says:

    Happy Anniversary!

    You didn’t fail your kids. I have a friend whose kids all have learning disabilities and she and her husband both have MBA’s and are extremely hard working. Her work ethic comes in handy because she’s her kids’ strongest advocate and biggest support. Sometimes, she’s kind of like, “How did this happen?” but usually her attitude is that she’s worrying about what she can do to make their present and future better.

    I know that when I found out that my second child was going to be born with a birth defect, I went through a lot of self-doubt about what I might have done to cause it. I did research and learned I didn’t do anything, but that my husband has two risk factors. I don’t know if those factors or random luck caused my son’s birth defect, but I don’t blame my husband and I would do it all over again because I love my son just the way he is.

  4. lillium Says:

    Thank you for posting this today. I needed to read it. I must say I was so discouraged last night. And I will say that last night we all felt the demands of Jbird’s challenges. I ended up going to bed early and crying myself to sleep. We are running into what I expected, and hoped wouldn’t happen, with Jbird and high school. I have a couple of meetings to take place in the next few days – UGH! I am so glad to hear things are going so well for Gracie. May your weekend with Owen be blessed.

  5. chris Says:

    What a wonderful way to start a wonderful weekend! Hope it stacks up to be the best so far this year.

  6. Vicki Says:

    Great news about the kids. Yay!

    Happy Anniversary! And Happy Birthday to Kevin, too.

    My mom and her hub had their first date (blind) on her birthday and they ended up getting married on that date, too. I figure he got off pretty easy — all the important dates to remember are rolled into one!

  7. Margene Says:

    Good news all the way around. You take it day by day and get through. You are an amazing person, Katy.

  8. Mary Beth Says:

    I’m so happy for you – I’m heading into conferences in a half an hour and I’m nervous – I realized more so for something that is about my kids than if it was about me! You’re a great mom, taking one step at a time, giving your kids every resource available to them. Hope you get some time this weekend to put your feet up!

  9. Annie Says:

    Congrats to both Cam & Gracie. And, congrats to you and your husband for fighting hard for your children. They are blessed to have you for parents.

    Enjoy your weekend. 🙂

  10. Kim Says:

    I had ADD and learning problems but back then I was labeled stupid and lazy. My daughter unfortunately inherited my problems. Luckily for her I knew she wasn’t lazy or stupid and made sure she got the help she needed. She is in fact very smart and confident and is in honors classes in high school. IEP’s are a good thing!

  11. Melissa Says:

    How wonderful! Congratulations to all!

  12. Rachael Says:

    Congrats all the way around!

  13. Kim Says:

    Such a wonderful post! Katy, it sounds like you’re doing a wonderful job with those great kids—hang in there, and happy anniversary!

  14. Sarah C. Says:

    Congratulations on your anniversary, and I’m sure you and Mr. Owen will have a fantastic weekend! Great news about Gracie, too. Your kids seem so amazing. And how awesome is it that you asked your husband to marry you?

  15. Sharon Says:

    Katy, I attend a lot of IEPs in my job, and most of them aren’t so positive. You and Kevin haven’t done ANYTHING wrong. How fortunate these three children are to have parents capable of giving them so much right.

  16. Orli Says:

    1st. Happy Anniversary!
    As for learning disabilities…your kids are doing so well because you are such a good mom (and Kevin a dad).
    I have two brothers with learning disabilities. One of them has an MSc now! I think if he didn’t have his disabilities he would be a medical doctor.
    I still don’t know what will be with my son. Time will tell I suppose, as he is only 1.10 month old. I must say learning disabilities to pose a struggle to both child and parant. I only had a spelling problem. I think maturity helped me become a better student. Mind you, I only graduated high school…I would like to go for a Ba sometime…just don’t know when and which…lot’s of stuff interests me. I hope that my son will have good programms at his school should he require extra help.

  17. Angi Says:

    Happy Anniversary to you both! And Happy birthday to Kevin! You are an inspirational family. May you have many years of blessings ahead!

  18. Kerstin Says:

    Happy Anniversary! You proposed on Boylston Street? Interesting tidbit! Hope you’re having a good weekend with O-man. 🙂

  19. Joanne Says:

    Sometimes, especially here on LI where everyone’s so competitive, it’s hard to have kids who have problems and special needs. My older son has had a rough time, and at one point, I wasn’t sure he would get his high school diploma. He’s still finding his way in the world, at his own pace.

    It’s extremely hard for me to socially interact with people whose kids graduated with him. Their kids are at Duke, and Cornell, and doing all sorts of great things. They are, in some part, the same kids who bullied him so badly that he nearly gave up on life….but anyway, my pride in him, and what he’s been able to conquer has had to be a quiet pride. If I mention it at all to other people, they are likely to laugh at me.

    He’s a difficult child, but I would not trade him for anything. Not now, not ever.


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