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Can’t catch a break–or complaining August 10, 2005

Filed under: Uncategorized — katy @ 5:57 pm

The kids started camp on Monday.  We Kevin signed them up at the local YMCA.  Gracie wanted to do drama camp and Cameron regular, plain old.  I wanted to look into sending Gracie to the local theater’s camp and figured Cam could do something local through the town or school.  To be honest, I would prefer they didn’t go to camp.  I absolutely love being with them while Owen is at school.  These two are fabulous company and we are able to do so many things that we can’t do when Owen is home.  These can be little things like going to the mall or bigger things like the local aquarium.  Heck, they are happy to go out to breakfast.  Or do lunch at Chuck E Cheese.  And I love sharing these moments of happiness with them.  They also enjoy hanging out at home watching what they like on the television or playing–uninterrupted–with their toys and games.

Camp.  Wouldn’t  you know–the pick up and drop offs are at different places.  Easy enough in the morning but two times I have to get Owen in and out of the car.  And Gracie’s theater is right on a local highway.  Cameron’s pick up is where Owen went swimming over the winter.  Needless to say, Owen is unhappy that we are not going swimming.  Monday he was both self-injurious and aggressive.  He was punching himself in the head and biting me.  I worked it out with the camp director that Gracie can pick up Cameron.  She is such a good kid. 

Today, when we went to pick Gracie up at 3:45pm–the door was locked shut.  There was Owen and I standing by the highway.  He was angry…hitting his head against the door–knock knock.  Sigh.  10 minutes later and employee came up and let everyone in with his key.  Needless to say we were a bit late for Cam.  Owen was still ticked and we were running late getting home.  I tried to phone Owen’s teacher at about 4:16pm.  We arrived home at 4:19 and she had written in her note that she stayed till 4:15.  I tried to ring her on her cell but got no answer.  Oh, was I annoyed.  And I had told Owen she was coming and he was crying on the floor and saying her name.  It stunk.

We have seen some major regression in Owen over the summer with the loss of the home hours.  (We fired the guy who tried to make him eat mac & cheese).  He’s only get 4 hours lately…and that’s been sporadic too as his teacher has summer plans.  His verbals are down, hand leading is up.  And aggressive behaviors are back pretty regularly.

I am half-tempted not to post this but I just feel like I gotta get it out.  I know so many people face far greater difficulties than this.  But I am just feeling a bit overwhelmed. 


37 Responses to “Can’t catch a break–or complaining”

  1. Donna Says:

    Complain away, if it helps any! I’ll keep you all in my thoughts.

  2. Emma. Says:

    There’s nothing wrong with sticking your hand up when you feel like you’re drowning ! I can’t help,except to say that I see you waving and wish you strength and an easy swim to shore.
    Parenting a special needs child,whatever their needs are,is such a challenge. People take so much for granted,and have no idea how draining it can be. So post away. I’m listening.
    [I have had a ”drowning” post whirling round my brain for weeks.Will I find the time to write it ?]


  3. Kerstin Says:

    Oh god, Katy. It sounds like you need more help at home. I have mixed feelings about camp, too. On the one hand, it’s good for them to try something different and meet new kids. On the other hand, I do so much driving during the school year that I really need a break in the summer. I’ve been doing all those things you mention with my three this week — no camp! — breakfast out, a day at the lake, out for pizza at night, playing around … it’s great. And I’m totally exhausted. I can’t imagine what you’re going through — I can only liken it to those days when I had really young kids (and worries about Max, incl. speech therapy appts) and no one around to help out. Can you get more help at home? Sending hugs.

  4. Cara Says:

    I got nothing for you but good thoughts and lots of hugs – for everyone! I’m sorry it’s been a rough summer – it seems to be going around.

    Vent whenever you need to….

  5. Toni Says:

    Oh, goodness. Vent away, vent away. You’re all in my thoughts.

  6. jody Says:

    hey it sounds like you have a pretty hectic schedule — complain away! i know sometimes i just need to say “this sucks” to get myself feeling a little bit better. don’t make yourself feel guilty — you DO have alot on your plate. i’m amazed you keep together as well as you do.

  7. Lorette Says:

    Parenting ANY child is a major challenge, and you really have your hands full. It’s not “complaining” when you vent like this, it’s just saying how it is. I hope you can get some extra help at home, as Kerstin said. My thoughts are with you.

  8. sarah b. Says:

    Don’t feel bad for posting, everyone has good days and bad days and if they say they don’t, they aren’t being honest. 🙂 Here’s hoping for a light at the end of your tunnel!

  9. Kathy Says:

    Post all that you like. I’m sorry that you had such a crummy day and really hectic summer. Here’s to hoping that tomorrow is better. And the next day. Sending hugs (and maybe chocolate too.)

  10. Rossana Says:

    Oh dear Katy. I’m sorry to hear about the icky day and Owen’s regression. Yes, it’s been rough on all of you. No doubt Owen will advance again soon. Meanwhile, I send you warm thoughts and many hugs. And it sounds like Gracie and Cameron are just really nifty kids, too. Just like their Momma! >>big ole hugs

  11. Collette Says:

    I’m glad you posted. Life is full of good and bad–you don’t have to just show us the great stuff. I like you real. Give yourself a break–you’re a great mom and a caring person–even when you’re overwhelmed. Sometimes it helps just to say it out loud (write it out loud? oh hell, you know what I mean). And, thanks for the note–I’m trying harder.

  12. Norma Says:

    Hey, if the blog and your blogfriends are not good for venting, then what’re you payin’ for?! Seriously, dear, I have not a clue what you’re going through because I’ve never been there. I do have empathy, though, and wish there was something I could do to help. So if that means I come (late, even!) to read your vent, I’ll do my part. ;-P

  13. Orli Says:

    Oh dear, I feel for you and Owen, his routine has been broken.
    By all means get it out, that’s why we have blogs.
    To think I was feeling miserable because my cooking stinks! And Gil isn’t eating much of it.
    But I’ll work on it and I know that things will settle down with Owen as well.
    Idea: will it be acceptable with Owen if you work with him on the things that the teacher works with him, when she can’t show up?
    Did I misunderstand the post though, is Owen still going to school?
    Because if he is and you enjoy so much the special time with Cam and Gracie,
    Maybe they can only do a couple of weeks of camps and a couple of weeks with you.
    Here in Israel when it comes to summer camp we pay per week (at least for the little ones).
    Take care,

  14. Mary Beth Says:

    I don’t see this as complaining one bit! You are one person trying to do the job of three! I am questioning the camp thing this week, big time! It seems like a good idea, but sometimes the disruption isn’t really worth it. Take one day at a time. Sorry Owen is struggling – it’s so hard when the structure is looser in the summer, plus didn’t you just have guests? Hang in, Katy!

  15. Susan Says:

    Oh, Katy, it’s hard when things are out of your control. You’ve done so much — look at how you took care of picking up Cameron in order to decrease Owen’s stress — and there’s only so much you can give before you’re spent. Venting here is part of taking care of yourself so that you can continue to keep it together for the kids, so go on and do it. I only wish we could all send more than virtual hugs!

  16. Christy Says:

    K, I have to remind myself sometimes that just because other people have “bigger” problems than I do, that doesn’t make my stuff easier for ME to handle.

    We all have to deal with what we have and that doesn’t change because there are kids starving in Africa.

    You get to vent.

    Sending calming thoughts.

  17. Christy Says:

    Oh, forgot to say…if you need a laugh, Michelle put a watermelon on her head the other day and we took pictures.

    Seriously, every time I see it I crack up.


  18. Jackie Says:

    Oh, Katy – I sure do wish I could give you a big hug! Don’t feel bad about sharing your day – that’s why we read, it’s not just the knitting! I know what you mean about camps, I have resisted all summer – I love to be with the boys!
    I hope you are able to find some support for Owen. Do his regular school hours start soon, maybe that will help!

  19. Bonney Says:

    Honey, you can blow off some steam any time you want!!

  20. Vicki Says:

    Heh, that Norma… what ARE you paying for?! You let us know whenever you need a hug or a shoulder or whatever.

    ((hugs)) to all!

  21. Annie Says:

    I’m so sorry that you are going through this. I don’t know what to say except that I’m thinking of you and hoping for the best for you and your family.

  22. Margot Says:

    Your post is tugging at my heart. (((BIG hugs)))

    Christy’s right. Realizing that other people have it harder doesn’t mean that your challenges are miraculously easier. I think that you’re doing the best that you can with the resources you have. And that’s all anybody can do.

  23. Rebecca Says:

    I am so sorry you are going through this. I know when the 2 year olds routine is upset she also regresses. She has started pulling her hair out now. Is that better than the head banging? I dont know. I did start seeing a pediatric chiropracter and acupressurist for her and both are wonderful. Hopefully it will help her be more centered. I am willing to try anything at this point before going for the “diagnosis”.
    I sent the 3 year old to camp this summer (only 2 days in the AM) so she would have time away from the 2 year old and all the teachers and mayhem that surrounds my house. I wish we had some time just us together. I try to have quiet “us” time when the 2 year old naps but it never seems like enough time. I am sorry. I just realized I am venting to you!!! Well I am thinking of you and hoping your days get better. Just know you are not alone.

  24. Loretta Says:

    Sending you a big ole hug. Hang in there. Sending good thoughts your way –

  25. sUsAn Says:

    Katy, I’m sorry to hear about this rough patch you’re going through…hugs…hugs…thinking of you today.

  26. Nancy Says:

    Haven’t you figured out that we’re all here to lean on when you need to vent?

    I’m sending hugs your way!

  27. Nancy J Says:

    It’s time for a Group Hug. And then chocolate

  28. Michelle Says:

    I cannot even begin to imagine the daily challenges that you face, but I admire you for facing them. Everyone has the right to vent and look to others for some support. I am sorry that things are rough right now, but hopefully with time and routine things will improve.
    Thinking of you and sending you smiles.

  29. melissa Gaul Says:

    Ah… vent. Whenever you need to. Hope the last few weeks work out… thinking of you and yours.

  30. Christine Says:

    Katy, you can’t keep it in! Let it out girl! You will be healthier for it. Hugs to you. Today is a new day and a better one, too, I hope for you and Owen!

  31. Kate Says:

    Isn’t that why we are all here? To listen to each others rants no matter what. Take care of you!

  32. Bobbie Says:

    I want you to know that your kids will gain a sense pride in their brother that no one can take away, it gives them a compassion that few have. My older kids 26, 25,and 22 (boys) have been remarkable with their brother. And spout off as much as you wish. I know the things you are feeling, and it is the only way you can unload the frustration you feel not at your son but at the circumstances you can’t control.

  33. Esther Says:

    I completely understand. I have an 8 yr old autistic son, Danny. His sister Emily is fine. So I also know how hard it is to take care of one’s needs and feel guilty about the other…

    One day at a time…

  34. michele Says:

    I think you have every right to ‘let it out’ and lean on your family, friends, and blog pals. We may not be able to understand or relaet to what you’re experiencing, but we care and are there for you. I agree with Esther…one day at a time breathing in and out.

  35. Linda Stacey Says:

    You are not complaining and you handle so many difficult situations with grace!!!

    Vent and speak your mind. Friends are always happy to listen!


  36. Jennifer Says:

    Katy: I’m glad you posted with all your honesty. I think you have done great work by raising awareness of what your day-to-day life is like. That’s really great. I think of you often and wanted you to know my thoughts and prayers are with you. You are a strong and wonderful woman and awesome mother. Keep going strong!

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