I think I am depressed. Just over a year ago, when the doctor found the lumps in my breasts–which turned out to be nothing–she put me on Zoloft. I was freaking a little as my mom had left for Florida and the radiologist was backed up due to Breast Cancer Awareness month. My doctor said go on Zoloft for 6 months and it can reset your serotonin something of other and you can be happy till you hit menopause. (In no way shape or form did she say this–strictly my interpretation). Around the six month mark I was still unhappy. She has suggested counseling but I feel like this–meaning autism–is just something I have to live with and accept. We decided on a 50% increase on the Zoloft. Somehow it was a 100% increase and I became euphoric. Honestly, nothing could get me down. Arguments and annoyances with Kevin–whatever. House aggravation…uh huh, yea what? It was all okay.
For the New Year I resolved to wean myself off of the Zoloft. What was I thinking? I mean Granny getting sick was the first thing but Owen’s birthday and the difficult feelings around that…I increased my dosage back up to the full. But I haven’t gotten back to that euphoric state and I miss it. I am strongly considering counseling again. I am sleeping an awful lot. But I did go to the gym twice this week…and I started on St. Brigid again and am thrilled that it is taking me less than 10 minutes a row. About 8 or 7 on a purl row.
Is this too much information to put out there? Isn’t this supposed to be a knitting blog?