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As I was trying to say June 4, 2006

Filed under: Uncategorized — katy @ 12:47 pm

Except it doesn’t sound as good–at least to my ears and eyes–the second time around.  I was supposed to meet with Owen’s new teacher on Thursday at my Parent Training.  Only I learned on Tuesday that she had been promoted to coordinator and his class won’t have a teacher come July.  Unless, of course, they hire one PDQ.  The concern there is that these lower and moderately functioning ASD kids need a strong teacher.  I hope they find one. 

Kevin and I have had fantastic luck with teachers.  Honestly, we have had nothing but the best and wonderful consistency among teaching assistants with very little turnover.  One of the many reasons I wonder why Owen hasn’t progressed farther.  He literally has had the best staff the program has to offer.

Anyway, I met the new coordinator and she seemed firm but nice.  I didn’t feel as though we hit it off right away–but those who have met me in real life may not be surprised by that.  Just sayin’…’cause I know it’s true.

After she left, Owen’s old teacher–his first teacher–and I had a moment.  Sigh.  I broke down crying after she asked me if I was happy with the change.  Honestly, this school age program is kind of cool.  It is run quite differently than the rest of the program at the school with the kids working at centers and doing a proper circle time.  Most–if not all but a few moments–of Owen’s educational experience from Early Intervention on has been in a 1:1 format.  I have wondered if this was the correct model for him but maintained hope based on the experience of other parents and children.  I think Owen is 1:1 dependent–which cannot be the reality of his life.  So this is a good thing.

But still…it just breaks my heart that he hasn’t made it.  I was grateful for the validation by Owen’s teacher.  We ususally don’t go there.  But she admitted–and I needed to hear it–that she thought he would have done better by now.  She’s known him over half of his life…"since he was a baby," she said.  And it’s true.  He started the program when he was 2 years old–just before he turned 3. 

For whatever reason, behaviors have increased again.  They were down to a 0 frequency for weeks upon weeks!  This is unheard of for Owen.  Aggression, self-injury and destructive behaviors are nearly back to their old numbers. 

I haven’t been knitting as much as I have been reading.  Kevin and I finally moved into our new bedroom and it is like a retreat.  I love it.  Pictures this week. 


15 Responses to “As I was trying to say”

  1. Norma Says:

    Oh, honey. There is nothing I can say…at least I don’t think so….that can make anything better for you re: Owen’s situation. I am so sorry that you have to go through this and that you never seem to get a break. You are a strong, strong woman, and I admire you.

    I am so glad you have the new bedroom/retreat/oasis. Can’t wait for the pics.

  2. Nancy J Says:

    Behaviors change in ‘normal’ kids at the end of the school year — and all our behaviors change when we’re going on vacation, etc. — it’s the knowing that things are going to change. I suspect Owen knows the change, too, and is going back to the ‘old, safe behaviors’ which are not good ones, but they are ones with which he is most familiar.

  3. Cara Says:

    So glad you’ve got your own retreat back! I’m sorry things aren’t progressing so well with Owen and I hope a great teacher shows up on the horizon. Hugs to you!

  4. Angi Says:

    Hugs to you my friend.

  5. Carol Says:

    Nancy makes a very valid point. Our lives are in cycles and when/if we could revert, we all would. WE move on because we know we have to, Owen will too someday. Love, hope and faith is all you need. I know that sounds lame but you sometimes have believe. Love to you. Can’t wait to see the pics? Are you going to the Spin-Out?

  6. margene Says:

    You have a constant roller coaster ride. Maybe the time without behaviors will become longer and longer until eventually they subside. Hope springs eternal.

  7. michele Says:

    one day at a time and breathe in and out…that and big hugs. I also can’t wait to see the bedroom…I love the yellow/gold/corn. think of sunshine.

  8. I’m pulling for you and Owen, Katy.

  9. Mary Beth Says:

    Actually, I think it was very clear the second time around :). So glad you had an honest conversation with someone who has know Owen for so long, and hope they find that teacher soon! This is such a time of transition for everyone, and your family especially with all the changes at home too. Hoping a new routine will settle things down a bit…

  10. Carole Says:

    I’m glad the teacher validated what you already knew but I’m sorry that Owen hasn’t progressed as you had hoped. I’m thinking about you and your family. Hugs.

  11. Orli Says:

    I can’t really say much, but how about a virtual HUG }}}}}}HUGS{{{{{{
    and that I wish I had half your skills as a mummy. (I’m just messing my kid up)

  12. Kate Says:

    Hey there World’s best mom! O’s behaviors cycle right? Think back… did he start to cycle last October? A good friend works with children with autism (and I did too… I think i’ve told you) and this time of year is rough. Kids are very sensitive to changes in other people’s behavior, I imagine with O it’s even worse. So, are things “winding down”– like no more dance classes for Grace or no more soccer games? There might be more “end of year activities” now and he might be just at the beginning of understanding what that means. I am sure he will be ok over the summer with the new teacher. I will keep my fingers crossed that over the next week it will subside. I’m sending you a hug and some extra patience— summer vacation with 3 kids… you might need it! 🙂 Does your system call the summer program “camp” like we do? It seemed to help the 5-7 year old group who had siblings if they also got to attend “camp”. They had the same exact structure (well, plus 3 pool days instead of 1— oh, I love water therapy with autistic children! what a change in behavior! we did it for 1 hour in the mid-morning and they would be relaxed all day).

    🙂 Kate

  13. Christy Says:

    Sending gentle thoughts to you and to Owen.

  14. sUsAn Says:

    Hugs for you, K! I am hoping with you about your guy’s new teacher. Now you’ve made me curious when you said you’ve been reading instead of knitting…whatcha’ readin’? 🙂

  15. Nancy Says:

    I have to agree with everyone in saying that it’s just a cycle. A few weeks ago Ian’s teacher called to say that he had been homesick lately which is completely unlike him. Then last week he started crying when we put him on the bus. The end of the school year is hard on all of us if only because of the anticipation of change. Owen is working off his stress in the only way he knows how and adding to yours of course but that’s what kids do! Take care!

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